Ms. Dey called across the veranda today to invite me to tea! Then, a few minutes later my doorbell rang & there was their 5th grade daughter, who prefers me to call her by her nickname, Titli, smiling at me through the grate. Her mother said she could finally take me up on my offer to see the flat from inside vs. her veranda because Titli had something to talk with me about before tea. I admit I was a bit anxious!
Small talk began for a few minutes & then Titli leaned back in her chair & said, "I'm nervous to tell you what I came for". Ok...now I was quite anxious. She paused...got tears in her eyes...the teacher in me was starting to hear bells & whistles...I smiled at her & said she could tell me anything & I'd not get angry, we'd just talk about it like grown-ups.
"Oh, I just have to say it", she blurted, "I'm terrible at English & would Soooo appreciate it if we could continue to talk across the veranda once in awhile..." And it all came pouring out...how she sits on the veranda to see if I may walk past the window, how she was too afraid to call out to me the first few times, how she tries to think of reasons to engage in a conversations...how much she wants to learn American English instead of "rotten Indian English" which "I can't speak as well as my classmates either!"
By the time she was done we were laughing about the whole situation. I told her it was very brave to admit her fears about her language skills, that she should never feel bad about how she communicates with me because she knows about 300 times more English than my sum total of 33 Bengali vocabulary. Then something quite unexpected happened. I ended my reflection on our last twenty minutes by asking if she'd want to make a more formal arrangement - we'd call across the veranda every Sunday night, see if our schedules could jive during the week, & she'd come over to chat for an hour. I made it clear I may be gone some weeks, or be unable to schedule it every week due to conflicts or company, but she could help me with Bengali & I'd help her with American English. (She's got a great ear - she's already saying "nice" with an Minnesota accent & when I described hot dish other she used the exact same inflection I did when she asked questions about that uniquely Minnesotan word. Which, by the way I've explained to both Titli & her older brother, who also wants to take me to dinner once a month to talk American English in context of being in the real world, that they are hearing a Midwest accent in my speech. It's all I can offer :-)
She just sat there. She looked down at the floor for what seemed like a long while, then slowly stared right at me. She had a huge grin on her face & her toes started tapping..."That is my number one dream come true! You made my number one dream in my whole life come true! I get to speak American English with someone more than once or twice! OH ANN - this is the best night of my life!"
I was stunned. I don't know how long it will take me to remember how driven this culture is to succeed & how much the US, despite its issues, is viewed in such high esteem. I shared with her how good that made me feel, that we'd check with her parents to make sure it was ok with them...she was worried she'd overstepped what they thought was polite to a visitor.
She scampered off to get ready for tea & I sat for a long while fighting back tears, trying to take in Titli's visit.
Five o'clock tea was wonderful. I didn't end up coming home until nearly 8:30. Mr. Dey arrived home just as I was leaving & called across to a group of students renting the flat across the hall...so we made a circle of chairs in the living room & began discussing how things are different in US, dispelling some myths about the debauchery of US college life & delving into some pointed conversations about how the nation balances having an African American President while there are still racists. We ended by planning a trip to the market to prepare for Diwali, another big holiday on October 26th, & everyone promising to make time to have a group discussion once the engineering students were done with exams at the end of November.
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